I got a comment from a friend of mine about how Punchy creeps her out, and it made me think that it might be time to have a showdown: Kool-Aid Man vs. Punchy.
Once and for all, it’s time to decide who’s got the better juice.
- Has multiple flavors of juice
- Juice packets are inexpensive
- Can break though walls, doors, etc.
- Catch phrase: “Oh Yeah!”
- High percentage of name / face recognition
Can help you dye your hair / clothes / housepets
- Keen hat
- Knows how to surf
- Juice comes premade
- Juice is good mixer with rum
- Juice doesn’t separate
- Catchy name: “Punchy”
- Best red juice on the market
- Juice sometimes in 7-11 Big Gulp dispenser
- Too fat to ride in car
- Spills liquid everywhere he goes
- Always sweating
- Liar - holds real fruit in his hand when he should be holding powder packets
- High level of personal property destruction in his wake
- Juice requires “mixing” and separates if you leave it sitting too long
Stupid, generic name: “Kool-Aid Man”
- Low level of name / face recognition
- Only one flavor of juice (the best flavor, though)
- Short - only other job he could do would be work on Fantasy Island looking for De Plane
- Juice only comes in 64 oz. containers; should come in 5 gallon buckets
- No catch phrase (“Wouldn’t you like a Hawaiian Punch?” doesn’t count)
You would think that looks pretty even, but if you closely analyze the pros and cons, you’ll see that THE WINNER IS PUNCHY. With his never-beaten red juice, keen hat, and Big Gulp opportunities, it’s not hard to see why. Maybe next time, Kool-Aid Man.