I have a big rant about the show American
Idol that this whole post is basically
going to be about, but there are a few minor topics that I need to get
out of the way before that happens.
First, I noticed that AllPosters.com has a
great selection of Mucha art. Brilliance. Anyone who wants to buy me any
of that, be my guest. They have not only prints but actual lithographs
of the stuff, too. I swear I could go broke on that.
Next, I am starting to make my bi-monthly switch from Kung Fu movies to
spy/action movies so last night I was watching Tomorrow Never
not one of the better Bond movies, but it had Teri
Hatcher in it, and Pierce
Brosnan is my favorite Bond,
so I guess I can’t bag on it too badly. Anyway, that got me looking at
Amazon, where I am noticing that they’re finally re-releasing the Bond
movies on DVD come October 22. I’m going to have to investigate how many
points I have and maybe cash in to preorder some of those.
Finally, let it be known that it took me 90 minutes to get home from
work yesterday and I only live 14.3 miles away from my place of
business. That averages out to 9.5mph. Why? Because there was a car
fire that blocked all but one lane of traffic. I couldn’t get off the
freeway because by the time I found out what was going on, I was on the
inside lane of four lanes of parking lot. Besides which, there were no
exits between where I was at and the car fire - only entrances. Great.
I had a sort of epiphany, though, while I was sitting parked in that
mess. We should be able to file a class-action-style lawsuit against
anyone who does something that holds up traffic on that level. Why?
Consider how much was wasted in time and natural resources - I know I
burned almost a quarter tank of gas going all of 14.3 miles, and I get
good gas mileage. Now consider the amount of time that was lost between
all the people who had to sit through that. The idea here is that if
people would drive carefully and maintain their automobiles, we would
have fewer things like car fires. If everyone caught in that mess
could file a class-action suit against the idiot not maintaining their
car, the people caught could at least reclaim something for having to
sit through that. Insurance companies could offer class-action liability
insurance, sort of like your basic “collision” coverage, that would
cover you in the event you’re the jerk fucking up the traffic and you
get the lawsuit filed against you. The fire department would get paid,
the police would get paid, and the people would get paid. There are some
kinks to work out - like how you determine who really was caught in the
traffic, to what extent you define “caught in traffic,” etc. But the
idea’s there. Let’s get on this, people!
Okay, now on to American Idol.
I hate to admit it, but I’m sadly sucked into this show. I’m not even
sure why. It’s just interesting, I guess, to see how America rates
performers compared to how I would rate them.
I watched it last night, and came to the conclusion that I really,
really, really HATE the show’s hosts, Ryan Seacrest and Brian
Dunkleman. I HATE THEM. They’re like…
they’re like two really stupid Bob Sagets. I hate Bob
Saget, and I hate these guys. They
have zero presence, zero wit, and zero talent. I literally clapped when
Simon Cowell told
them to shut up last night.
Speaking of Simon, that’s the whole reason I’m thinking of American
Idol this morning. People don’t like Simon because he speaks his mind
and doesn’t sugar-coat the stuff he says. If he doesn’t like your
singing, he’ll tell you straight-up that you sucked. And you know what?
I think there is only one time ever that I’ve disagreed with what he
thought of a performer - he liked Ejay
Day and I
really just don’t like him. Besides that, though, when Simon has said
someone did an average job - he was right. When Simon called two of the
finalists “losers” (presumably referring to Jim
he was dead on.
What I don’t understand is why Paula
Abdul and Randy
Jackson insist on
congratulating the contestants on poor performances. What happens when
some lamer wins and then gets ripped a new one by critics? I guarantee
the press is not going to be as friendly as the Randy and Paula are.
Simon’s just giving it to them straight - I think it’s Randy and Paula
that need attitude adjustments. Call it like it is. No use building
people up only for them to be torn down later. Cut your losses and move
I think I may use the link on Simon’s page to write him an email to
tell him he’s right.
Enough on the judges. On to the contestants.
It’s a tough one. I think they do have the best contestants in the
running right now, except for Jim Verraros and AJ Gil, who do, in fact,
suck donkey. Christina
is cute, but the vibrato
she’s got going on any note she holds longer than a second is really
annoying. EJay Day and RJ
are just average as far as I’m concerned. No real presence. Nice voices,
but that’s about it. The rest, though… that’s a tough one. I tried to
think: having heard them all sing, generally understanding their styles,
whose album would I buy if I saw it on the shelf?
I never really came up with an answer for that.
seems like she could easily go country a la LeAnn Rimes, and I really
hate country music. She does have a nice voice, though, she’s cute and
has a decent style. Maybe.
seems like she would go Whitney Houston or maybe even slightly hip-hop.
Pending on how catchy it was, I might buy that album. She’s not terribly
attractive to me, though, and her overall style is just so-so. Also a
has, by far, the best voice of them all. I’m just not sure I can figure
out what his style is. It’s almost like he would do well as a 70’s funk
throwback, but honestly, he could sing anything and I think he’d do
well. I think it’d depend on what sort of album he put out. His look is
sort of nondescript, and that’s a problem. I’m not sure how to remedy
that, either. I’d probably buy the album.
That leaves my two favorites: Ryan
Ryan has a distinct look - she’s hot, she has her own style, and she’s
not afraid to show it. Plus, she’s sang a variety of different songs
(and genres) throughout the competition and she’s done well at them all.
I think she’d do really well in some sort of Bif Naked style band. I’d
definitely buy her album.
Nikki is my absolute favorite. She’s got the best overall style and
she’s definitely the most original. I like the sort of “rebel” thing
she’s got going. She didn’t do too well singing the Motown genre last
night, but I think she’ll do way better when they get to something like
Alternative Rock. I could see her in a band like Garbage or Hole… but
somehow almost more original than that. I dunno. But I’d definitely buy
her album. Probably a poster, too, since she’s a total hottie. Something
about the hair and the overall look just gets me.