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Dita von Teese (16k
image)I will be the first to admit that there are three things out there that just get me: Corsets, stockings, and boots - in that order. There is nothing sexier than a woman in a classy, tightly laced corset. Nothing. A good close second is a nice set of stockings - with or without garter belt (preferably with). Barring those two things, a stylish pair of boots is unbelieveable.

Hawks get trounced by Spokane. The score wasn’t terrible (3-2), but the play was shameful.

Saturday was spent running errands. First thing in the morning we went to a pancake breakfast at the local Masonic lodge (sidetrack: the word lodge makes me think of a log cabin up in the woods… I wonder why…) and stuffed ourselves on some pretty decent pancakes. After that, we went home and cleaned up around the place, which was starting to look pretty terrible. Then Jenn left to go do some stuff and I went grocery shopping at both Safeway and Trader Joe’s. Got some good stuff, but that took a long time. Finally, Saturday night found us watching the Hawks rally to beat Tri-Cities. (A much better game, I thought.)

Sunday was a very lazy day indeed. I went to my parents’ house and found that Mom hadn’t touched my Halloween costume so we finished it up.

Went to Fred Meyer and picked up a Swiffer WetJet mop because the cats are becoming increasingly messy. I’ve attempted to explain to them that the food should either be in the bowl or in their mouths, but they don’t mind me. It seems to be a game for them - pick up the food, drop it on the floor, watch me get pissed off, then eat the food. Bad, bad kitties.

And now I’m at work. The weekend was not nearly long enough and I’m still tired. I will eventually take a week of PTO so I can get my Xev cat declawed and fixed and so I can play a bit of GTA: VC. Somehow I don’t think that I’ll be as rested after that week as I’d like, but we can always hope.

I added one more category to the list of paraesthesia entries: New Science. These articles are the theories I have on why stuff does what it does. My favorite thus far (hey, there are only two right now) is my Theory of Indefinite Commute. I worked for a long time on that one.

each household appliance is like a new science

Jenn and I will be going to a sneak preview of I-Spy tonight. I didn’t know it used to be a TV show, but I suppose that shows how into pop culture I am; my references start in the early eighties and end in around 2000.

Seems that Star Wars Episode 2: Attack of the Clones will be coming to the OMNIMAX theater at OMSI. I’ll have to look into going.

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I’m sure all of you get porn spam just like everyone else.

Or maybe it’s just me getting the porn spam.

Anyway, I just got what I think is the best porn spam yet:

Ever see a $1 COKE WHORE? Now is your chance. Click HERE.

(Obviously, I removed the link so folks won’t actually go there, and no, I didn’t go there, either. I just thought the message was funny.)

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There are three kinds of perfume in the world: hot and sexy; mild and demure; and overwhelmingly terrible.

Jenn wears a perfume that is classified by me in the “hot and sexy” category. Some folks might consider it “mild and demure.” Grandmothers unfailingly pick the “overwhelmingly terrible” category. Salespeople usually do, too. (Note that in perfume, “more” is not always “better.”)

My cubicle sits adjacent to the local meeting area. We don’t have a conference room in our general location, it’s more of an open air affair

  • a table with a bunch of chairs. Convenient when I have a meeting to attend; decidedly inconvenient when I’m trying to work and there’s a meeting going on.

There’s a meeting going on right now, I don’t know who with, but there’s a lady over there with perfume on in the overwhelmingly terrible category. I don’t know what it is, but it’s giving me a migraine. I actually think I may complain to the boss over this one.

Once he gets out of that meeting, that is.

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Okay, so everyone knows about owl pellets, right? Owls can’t digest all the stuff from their prey (bones, hair, etc.) and since they eat their prey whole, that stuff has to go somewhere - enter owl pellets.

So I thought about this - what if there were people pellets? Take that a step further, what if people excreted/coughed-up/disgorged pellets rather than pooping? Think about how much easier that is. You’d still probably have to use the restroom for liquid waste, but for solid waste, you could just chuck your pellet into the trash can.

I suppose there’d be two possibilities for the pellet - either it gets coughed up (like owls) or it comes out the other end. If you cough it up, just spit it out… but if you poop it out, you’d have to “go digging” to get it, then throw it out. Either way, assuming the pellets are clean (like owl pellets), loads of sanitary issues would be solved. Gotta take a dump? Do it. Then just throw your pellet out.

There’d be pellet disposal containers in bathrooms. Under desks. In your living room. Built into your favorite easy chair.

I told Jenn about this, and she was like, “Wouldn’t people be disgusted by other peoples’ pellets?” I don’t think so. You have to consider, if there were such thing as people pellets, that’s how it always would have been. People wouldn’t know any better - that’d be just how it is.

I think that’d be kind of cool. No more messy wiping. No more stinky bathroom. Pellet. Done.