traffic comments edit

So I decided to go to Burger King for one of their tasty under-three-dollar cheeseburger meals today for lunch. I’m sitting, getting ready to turn left, when I notice something happen that probably should not have happened.

See, the street I’m turning left from has two lanes going in each direction and a single left-hand turn lane down the center. Like a lot of streets around here. I’m sitting in the left hand turn lane when I see this lady in a minivan pull up next to me on my left-hand side.

For the folks not from the US or those not really paying attention, that means she pulled up and stopped in an oncoming traffic lane. And she’s just sitting there, not really paying any attention to anything. I turn and look at her, horrified, and she looks around like a dazed panda and then looks back at me and gives me that “whoopsie!” shrug that moronic drivers give you when they know they’ve done something wrong but are too stupid to do anything about it.

Still flabbergasted, I watch as four or five more cars line up behind her. Like lemmings, ready to file off the edge of the cliff, they line up in oncoming traffic.

Meanwhile, the oncoming traffic has seen that there are morons in the way, so the largest traffic jam in the history of traffic jams proceeds to set in. Especially not helpful in a place where the lights only let like four or five cars through before changing again.

My light finally changed, so I went, and eventually I see her run the red (because she made no motion to go while the light was green - no signal or anything) into the oncoming traffic.

Sometimes I wish they would genetically engineer some sort of plague to kill off all the stupid people. The people sitting in oncoming traffic? Yeah, those are the people who call me up asking for technical support. Society, the welfare system, and yours truly don’t need those people clogging up the earth like shit in a drainpipe, needing to be plunged.

personal comments edit

I think the list of what we didn’t do this weekend will be shorter than what we did do, but let’s go through the activities anyway. It was a really, really packed three-day weekend, let me tell you.

Friday night I went home and played a couple of hours’ worth of Soul Calibur II, which I continue to maintain is the best fighting game ever. It’s so totally accessible and easy to pick up… yet the challenge is configurable so that even the experienced players can make it fun. I like it because I can just start playing, generally figure out how a character works, and on the “normal” difficulty, I can run through an entire “arcade mode” series of levels with just enough challenge to make it hard, but not so much challenge that I get pissed off and turn off the game.

The controls are well done and are simple to remember but complex enough that you can do some pretty cool combos and things. Plus, the “Weapons Master” mode is awesome - like a story or something. I dig it.

Kia Spectra GSX (4k
image)Saturday I did my best to get the household chores done (vacuuming, etc.) in the morning because that afternoon we decided to go to the Kia dealership and get Jenn into a new car. Her old car, a Pontiac Sunfire convertible, was a piece of crap and she needed something a little more reliable. We got there at 1:00p or so (without eating lunch, stupid us), and after four-and-a-half hours of painful negotiation, we ended up getting Jenn a Kia Spectra GSX in the “pewter gray” color. It’s a manual transmission, which she’s not used to, so there’s a bit of learning being done, but it’s all good. She enjoys it a lot, and I’m glad she’s happy.

Let it be known, though, that when I stepped onto the Kia lot, it was definitely not the same experience as when I went to get my car at the Acura lot. It was almost a different culture. Not necessarily bad, just different.

Sunday we went boating with my friends Jason and Tracy. We got off to a sort of poor start because somehow the boat battery was dead, but we discovered that while we were still at their house so we were able to charge it up a bit before we left. Jason’s brother, Adam, decided he didn’t want to rely on the charging job we did, so he decided he didn’t want to go. Whatever, man, he missed out on a good time.

Put the boat in the Columbia River in Goble, OR, and then went to a beach a mile or two down the river to eat lunch (just drove the boat right up onto the beach, basically, and got out to eat).

After we ate, we drove around on the river. It was pretty choppy, so none of us got into the water, but driving around was fun. (I wouldn’t have gotten on an innertube behind the boat or anything anyway due to bad past experience, but I’ll get to that later.)

We alternated between driving around in the boat and hanging out on the beach for about three hours. A lot of fun was had by all. I noticed Jenn and I were pinking up a bit, even though we had sunscreen on, but I figured that’s the price you pay, right?

The plan after boating was to go to a local comedy club, but we got back to their place and found out that the club had overbooked by 200 people, so we cancelled that idea. Instead, we got a bunch of people together and watched the latest Robin Williams stand-up act on video, which was hilarious. Played a little pool after that and then went home.

Monday morning Jenn and I woke up and realized that “pink” didn’t nearly accurately describe the sunburn issues we had going on. We were red. Like, really red. No blisters or anything, but totally stiff, totally in pain. I [somehow] burned the tops of my feet, so wearing shoes and/or socks was unbearable. My neck was red and burning like fire. My face was just sore… Jenn had similar problems, except for the feet burn.

I ended up going to a sporting goods store to get some cheap sandals (the sandals I had on while boating were really crappy and had caused a nice hole to be worn in the side of my foot) so I can walk around with some semblance of shoes on. You’d be surprised how hard it is to find anywhere that carries sandals at the end of summer. We went like four different places before we found these, and at bargain prices, no less. No complaints here.

Went home after driving around to Jenn’s parents’ house to show them the new car and played a bit more Soul Calibur II. Also played some more Amplitude, then watched a Xena episode and turned in.

Speaking of Xena, when you buy the DVD box set of the episodes, you get a little coin. Each season has a coin that goes with it. You can order a “free” (with $5 shipping) coin display holder thing to put the coins in. You have the option of calling a toll-free number or sending your check in the mail. I wanted to make sure my info was received, so this morning I called.

Bad choice.

I got to talk to Shirley, an Asian lady with a mild grasp of English. I told her I wanted the free coin holder thing. She proceeded to hard-sell me on every Xena merchandise item they sell, from DVDs to replica swords, for the next 45 minutes. Seriously. Every time I told her no, or that I’d call her back later for stuff, she would make a last plea for that item to be bought and then move on to give me the “next special offer.” I got the Hercules coin holder just to shut her up (an additional whopping $5), but she was worse than a Kinney Shoes salesman. Fuckin’ vultures. Terrible. Next time I know to just mail the damn check and hope for the best.

So, a few follow-ups…

First, my friend Doug got the list of stages that history goes through (in reference to the political raving I was doing):

  • Bondage / Chains
  • Spiritual Faith
  • Courage
  • Liberty
  • Abundance
  • Selfishness
  • Complacency
  • Apathy
  • Dependency and Degeneracy
  • Bondage / Chains

Looks to me like we passed through Abundance and Selfishness in the 80’s, hit Complacency and Apathy in the 90’s, and we’re currently heading through Dependency and Degeneracy and into Bondage / Chains. Not the “good,” S&M kind, either. Bah.

The book this is from is Exploring American History by Michael McHugh. According to his book, “all recorded history proves that the rise and fall of every nation has followed the above pattern.” Interesting, eh?

Finally, why won’t I go waterskiing or on an innertube behind a boat? Well…

I tried to waterski once. I had a pair of skis that we were using to “train” the newbies on - the fronts and backs were tied together. Apparently the really hard part is keeping your legs together and in front of you long enough to get up. Seemed reasonable to me, right? So, I got in the water and was told that if anything goes wrong, let go of the rope and the boat will come around to get me. Cool.

The boat started going, I started getting pulled, and then I started losing my balance and wasn’t feeling comfortable, so I let go of the rope…

… which then wrapped itself around the rope holding the skis together and I got drug underwater for an undetermined amount of time that was altogether too long for me. Water up my nose, in my mouth, unable to breathe… the worst ever. No thank you.

On a separate occasion I thought I’d try going out on one of those rocket-shaped inflatable deals that get towed behind the boat. Fun, right? Everyone loves those things. Plus, no rope to wrap around your skis and drag you underwater.

I got out there with a cousin of mine who had been on them before. I had never, and said straight-up that to begin with I’d like to go pretty slow so I can get used to the feel of it. No problem, I was told. Just do a thumbs-up / thumbs-down to say faster or slower.

We got going, and we were doing okay, but this cousin of mine decides we needed to go faster, so he jerked his thumb up high. I wasn’t ready, so I started doing a thumbs-down, but this asshole in front still wanted faster, so was doing thumbs-up. Which took precedence? The thumbs-up, obviously, as we continued going faster. I leaned over to this guy and said, “Look, buddy. I’m not ready for this. We need to slow down so I can get used to it, or I’m dumping us both off this thing.” “No way,” came the reply, along with another thumbs-up sign to the boat.

Fine. Over we went.

Or how about this one? I’d never been on a jet-ski before. A friend of mine happened to be riding one and wanted to know if I wanted to go for a ride behind her. I said fine, but I’d like to go slow to get used to it. Sounding familiar? Guess who went really fucking fast and wouldn’t slow down for me until I was yelling and screaming at her.

Never again will I waterski or go on anything towed behind the boat. Never again will I be a passenger on a jet ski (there’s not a lot to hang onto, folks, and those stupid handles on the sides of the seat don’t fucking count). If I’m not directly in control of the speed or direction of the watercraft, I’m not having anything to do with being towed behind it. It taught me that, basically, I can’t trust anyone to drive in those situations because no one believes in letting a beginner get used to what’s going on. Never again.

Anyway, that’s the weekend. Long but fun, and not really relaxing. Sleep when you’re dead, right?

personal comments edit

Normally when I’m in here I don’t really touch on political matters. It’s not because I don’t want to rile people up or piss people off, it’s just that, honestly, usually I don’t care. I don’t have the time or the energy to try to check-and-balance everything that goes on in the world. I have to trust that the people in charge know what they’re doing.

Lately, though, I’ve been getting a little worked up about things. I guess it all started about a week ago when Marty started going off about things in his blog. I had stuff to say about those things, I just never got around to it. Then I went and rented Bowling For Columbine and I have stuff to say about that, too, but just didn’t get to it.

Well, I finished a lot of stuff today, so I’m going to take a break and write this stuff up. I’m sure this will be a long one, so read on… Let us first address Marty’s original rant that started all of this about bicyclists. Marty’s point that bicyclists are generally a bunch of fucking morons that can’t figure out how to obey traffic laws is absolutely correct. I can’t tell you how tired I am of coming to a four-way stop, having my turn come around, start going, and then have to slam on the brakes because some numb-nuts decides he doesn’t have to stop for a stop sign.

I don’t give two shits if you think you’re “too small to have to obey the law” or whatever. You’re on the road, you obey the traffic laws. This means that you signal when you turn, you follow the lights and the signs, and you ride on the correct side of the road. If you’re coming at me head-on in my lane, you’re probably going to lose, and I’m not going to feel bad for you.

I also have to fully agree with his shopping cart rant in which the general conclusion is that the assholes riding bikes who can’t figure out how to obey traffic laws are the same people who can’t figure out how to manipulate a shopping cart through a store in a courteous and efficient fashion. If you’re too stupid to work a shopping cart without parking it in the middle of the aisle and blocking traffic, you’re too stupid to shop at my store. Get the fuck out.

Also on that note, if you bring your family shopping with you, we have something called “single file” in my country. Try that out - you don’t have to walk side-by-side down the aisle like you’re playing Red Rover or something.

I do take a bit of an issue with the part in his rambling where he talks about the Portland funding of a baseball team. God only knows that I think baseball is, like, the most boring game ever and that whoever thought it up should be shot. However, I’d like to point out that the taxpayers, to the best of my knowledge, are not funding the stadium; the stadium is coming from taxing players’ salaries. At least, that’s what I heard on the morning news.

Regardless, I’d rather that money went to other things. Baseball is bullshit, and I don’t think we need more. I’ve been to a Portland Rockies game, folks, and let me tell you - the stadium wasn’t remotely close to filled. Somehow I think you’ve got like 500 people out there who want this thing really bad and they’re forcing the rest of us into it. As long as I don’t have to pay, I guess…

And now, on to Bowling For Columbine.

Basically, what the movie does is explore the reasons why people in the US are so violent. How come other countries can have in the low hundreds of shootings every year and the US has in the tens of thousands?

The thing I liked about it was that the filmmaker (Michael Moore) explored the differences between our country and other countries - we have the same movies here as in other countries; we have the same video games; we have the same number of guns as other countries; and in many cases, we have less blood on our hands historically than other countries. So what is it?

The conclusion I drew from it was that the media - particularly the news media - is to blame. If you watch the news in the US, you see shootings and stabbings and kidnappings and all sorts of death and destruction. You watch the news elsewhere, and they show you more uplifting things more often; it’s not all just chaos and despair. Of course, I’ve never personally watched the news from other countries, but I’m going from what the movie showed, which could admittedly be biased.

But Moore didn’t seem to want to stick with that, and that’s what irked me about the film.

Okay, the Columbine thing was terrible. A couple of kids get some guns, go down to K-Mart, buy a bunch of bullets, and come in to school and kill people. That’s really tragic, seriously.

But does that mean that you should go to K-Mart and tell them that their sporting goods section should no longer carry bullets? I don’t think so, but that’s what they did. What, precisely, does that accomplish? If you’ve already made the conclusion that it’s not the guns that are the problem, what difference does it make if a store doesn’t sell bullets? They still sell the guns anyway, moron.

Or how about this: A lady has this job to pay the state back for the welfare she took. To get to this job, she has to get on a bus and travel for an hour each way to get there (that sounds familiar, except I have a car). Okay, well, the job doesn’t make ends meet so she has to move in with her brother. Fine. One day, the lady gets on the bus to go to work. After she leaves, her six-year-old kid finds the uncle’s gun, takes it to school, and shoots one of his classmates. One six-year-old killing another six-year-old. Tragic? Yes. The fault of the welfare system? I don’t think so.

Moore does seem to think so, though. He goes and finds out that this lady worked for some American Bandstand restaurant in Ohio that Dick Clark owns. He then proceeds to fly to California to confront Dick Clark about this - that the lady wasn’t at home watching her kid because she was working at his restaurant.

Dick Clark, of course, has nothing to say and drives away. I’d have done the same. What did this guy expect? That Dick Clark, who probably has his name attached to the restaurant and that’s about it, has some sort of explanation or answer for this? No, no, no.

Then Moore decides that it’s time to confront Charlton Heston, actor and president of the National Rifle Association. Let me remind you, lest you’ve forgotten, that Moore has already come to the conclusion that guns are not the problem.

Moore commences his interview and he asks Heston what the cause of all the violence in the US is. Heston says he thinks it might be the culture. Moore says that, no, we have the same amount of violence in our culture as other, non-violent countries. So, Moore asks, what else could it be? Heston says he thinks maybe it’s our history of bloodshed. Moore says that, no, we have, in many cases, less blood on our hands than other countries. So, Moore asks, what else could it be? Heston fumbles around, looking for an answer for a guy who’s obviously not going to be pleased with any anser, and then ends the interview.

I think Moore was trying to make Heston look bad, but I think he only succeeded in making himself look bad. I mean, where was the constructive discussion? What happened to the conclusion that the media was to blame? Argh!

All in all, it was an interesting movie, though. I learned alot about stuff I didn’t know the US was involved in. If anything, rent the movie just to see the statistics and whatnot. But I’m not sure where Moore was trying to take this one. Maybe he just wanted people to think. If that’s the case, I guess it worked. I mean, I’m writing this now, right?

This all has spawned some interesting discussions between me and some of my coworkers about the state of governmental affairs and what needs to be done. One of them brought to my attention that there’s sort of a cycle that society goes through, like first there’s Slavery (of one form or another), then Freedom (from the Slavery), then Apathy, then Plenty (if you’re just sitting around accumulating material wealth…), then Slavery again. Looking at the way things are going, I think we’ve just exited the Plenty phase and now we’re headed into Slavery. Slavery to our jobs, to the government… No good.

And there’s no way I can see to get out of it, short of a complete overhaul of the way government works, from the ground up. Less “tolerance” and “consensus” and more action. I mean, the way things are now, it’s like 12 Angry Men - rather than just getting things done, we all sit around and discuss the impacts of this and that, then discuss the impacts of our discussions… No. Just fix things already. It’s not that simple? Yes, it is.

Get rid of these pork barrel projects that keep the politicians rich and just soak up the government funds. Find people for office that are experts in their field and want to actually get things done. Fire all the existing politicians. Ensure that there’s not a fortune to be made in government - if there’s a career to be made that can make a person fat, the person will probably focus on the career and less on the work. Make lobbying illegal - all lobbying. Money or not. Let the people decide, not the various “causes” out there.

On a different note, we probably also need to overhaul the whole legal system, too. Less tolerance. Less “human rights.” Seriously. We live in a world where someone can break into my house, I can shoot them, and if they live, they can sue me and win. There’s something very wrong about that. If you break into my house, you just lost all of your human privileges. If I decide to tie you up in my basement and get out a pair of pliers and the blowtorch, there’s nothing you should be able to do, man. You broke into my house. Period.

Obviously the pliers and blowtorch might be a little much, but you get the idea. There’s something wrong when the legal system can consistently work against common sense.

I wonder sometimes if it might be better to go all the way back to the Code of Hammurabi

  • eye for an eye (code #196) and all that. No lawyers, just one guy against another, and a jury using common sense rather than looking for legal loopholes. Would we convict a few more people wrongly? Maybe. Reduction in crime? Almost definitely.

There you go, my controversial post for the week. Got something to say? Either leave a comment, or, better still, go bitch in the forums.

food, humor comments edit

Kool Aid Man (4k
image) VS. Punchy (2k
image)

I got a comment from a friend of mine about how Punchy creeps her out, and it made me think that it might be time to have a showdown: Kool-Aid Man vs. Punchy.

Once and for all, it’s time to decide who’s got the better juice.

PRO

Kool-Aid Man

Punchy

  • Has multiple flavors of juice
  • Juice packets are inexpensive
  • Can break though walls, doors, etc.
  • Catch phrase: “Oh Yeah!”
  • High percentage of name / face recognition
  • Can help you dye your hair / clothes / housepets

  • Keen hat
  • Knows how to surf
  • Juice comes premade
  • Juice is good mixer with rum
  • Juice doesn’t separate
  • Catchy name: “Punchy”
  • Best red juice on the market
  • Juice sometimes in 7-11 Big Gulp dispenser

CON

Kool-Aid Man

Punchy

  • Too fat to ride in car
  • Spills liquid everywhere he goes
  • Always sweating
  • Liar - holds real fruit in his hand when he should be holding powder packets
  • High level of personal property destruction in his wake
  • Juice requires “mixing” and separates if you leave it sitting too long
  • Stupid, generic name: “Kool-Aid Man”

  • Low level of name / face recognition
  • Only one flavor of juice (the best flavor, though)
  • Short - only other job he could do would be work on Fantasy Island looking for De Plane
  • Juice only comes in 64 oz. containers; should come in 5 gallon buckets
  • No catch phrase (“Wouldn’t you like a Hawaiian Punch?” doesn’t count)

You would think that looks pretty even, but if you closely analyze the pros and cons, you’ll see that THE WINNER IS PUNCHY. With his never-beaten red juice, keen hat, and Big Gulp opportunities, it’s not hard to see why. Maybe next time, Kool-Aid Man.

gaming, playstation comments edit

I’ve been living up the Amplitude, and I’m finding that the more I play, the better I get (as you would hope but not necessarily expect). It being a musical game and me with [what I would like to think is] a decent sense of rhythm, the only real thing you have to figure out is how to get your fingers to move in the appropriate pattern.

Jenn was watching me last night as I was going through a pretty complex set of tracks and was saying that she didn’t think her brain could work that fast. That’s when I realized the key to the game: You can’t think about what you’re doing, you just have to do it. If you take the time to analyze and cogitate the pattern, you’ve already taken too long and you’re done. I guess it’s sort of like any other inherent sort of talent, kind of like riding a bike - you don’t think, “Okay, now I balance this way, now I step on this pedal…” You just ride the bike. I think that’s one of the things I like best about the game - no analysis, just raw action.