Left Hand Whoopsie

traffic comments edit

So I decided to go to Burger King for one of their tasty under-three-dollar cheeseburger meals today for lunch. I’m sitting, getting ready to turn left, when I notice something happen that probably should not have happened.

See, the street I’m turning left from has two lanes going in each direction and a single left-hand turn lane down the center. Like a lot of streets around here. I’m sitting in the left hand turn lane when I see this lady in a minivan pull up next to me on my left-hand side.

For the folks not from the US or those not really paying attention, that means she pulled up and stopped in an oncoming traffic lane. And she’s just sitting there, not really paying any attention to anything. I turn and look at her, horrified, and she looks around like a dazed panda and then looks back at me and gives me that “whoopsie!” shrug that moronic drivers give you when they know they’ve done something wrong but are too stupid to do anything about it.

Still flabbergasted, I watch as four or five more cars line up behind her. Like lemmings, ready to file off the edge of the cliff, they line up in oncoming traffic.

Meanwhile, the oncoming traffic has seen that there are morons in the way, so the largest traffic jam in the history of traffic jams proceeds to set in. Especially not helpful in a place where the lights only let like four or five cars through before changing again.

My light finally changed, so I went, and eventually I see her run the red (because she made no motion to go while the light was green - no signal or anything) into the oncoming traffic.

Sometimes I wish they would genetically engineer some sort of plague to kill off all the stupid people. The people sitting in oncoming traffic? Yeah, those are the people who call me up asking for technical support. Society, the welfare system, and yours truly don’t need those people clogging up the earth like shit in a drainpipe, needing to be plunged.