Something I forgot to mention in the last few entries was that I bought a couple of CDs to listen to on the trip to Bellevue and back. In searching for them, I looked for some decent upbeat dance-style music so I could stay awake and do a little toe-tapping.

What I found was t.A.T.u.

Now, I'll admit, I'm never first on the bandwagon for things, though many times I'd like to be, so I'm sure some of you have already discovered this musical gem. For those not in the know, I'll enlighten you. See, t.A.T.u. is either a miracle gift from God Himself or a total stroke of Pure Marketing Genius.

Imagine if you will... two hot... teenage... Russian... lesbians... who wear Catholic school girl outfits... and sing really killer dance songs.

That's right, you heard me correctly. Hot teenage Russian lesbians in school girl outfits singing dance songs. That's like something straight out of hentai. But it's true, and I'm totally sucked in, probably exactly as the t.A.T.u. marketing team figured I would be.

The thing is, I'd be enraged at the whole manipulation of my inner male if I wasn't so stoked about the music. I actually like every song on the album. It's even better in the native Russian language - there are only two Russian versions on the album I have, but now I'm trying to find the full original Russian version of the album.

Anyway, if you're into the dance thing, check out their album 200 km/h in the Wrong Lane. I'm groovin' to it right now.

I've thus far only found one down side - they're young, so they're not performers. I was over at MTV.com searching for performances because I'd heard they were okay, but to me the show I saw was pretty robotic looking. I'm sure they'll improve with time, which is just fine with me.

The trip home was probably the most stressful part of the entire venture into Bellevue. I left convienently at 4:45p from the class - just enough time to struggle onto the freeway (all of those Microsofties leave around then, combined with the construction that screwed me on the way up in the first place) and crawl the 20 miles to Tacoma.

Of course, I had to stop and pee on the way because it took me like an hour and a half to get that far and I had been drinking loads of Mountain Dew.

The way home, other than that, was pretty uneventful. I discovered only a few things of interest on the way.

First, my car goes 95mph just as easily as it goes 50mph.

Second, there is definitely a Hooters in Tacoma, and I definitely need to go.

Third, if you see a giant neon sign advertising a "BJ Tournament," it's not what you think it is. It's probably attached to a casino and it probably involves cards.

Finally, along the Washington-Oregon border there is a magic curtain that everyone passes through and instantly forgets how to drive. I mean, it's like a wall. People can be going 70mph on the road with no issues not five minutes before, but you hit the border and people just forget how to drive. They stop signalling, they slow down for no apparent reason, they go slow in the fast lane and fast in the slow lane... it's ridiculous.

And now I'm home. Not much more I can say about that. It was nice to sleep in my own bed last night, but isn't it always nicer to sleep in your own bed?

We're just about done here. I'm going to post now and get things ready to go.

I've got a nice long drive ahead of me. Bah.
Wednesday, June 25

8:42a

I was told last night that my classroom play-by-plays aren't so interesting all the time. (Thanks, Jenn.) I won't deny that. They probably are a little more boring than my standard rant about some stupid asshole who can't figure out that going 30 to merge on a freeway traveling 60 isn't going to work.

But look at it this way - you can't please all of the people all of the time. Right? I mean, it's not like I'm sitting here getting five days worth of class in three days while sipping piña coladas or some shit. I'm getting the crap beat out of me (from a mental perspective) and working on the "misery loves company" philosophy. Sorry this isn't as entertaining as all that, but no one's life is always entertaining. At least, not on paper.

Now, in person, clever-and-funny is my modus operandi. At least, I think so. I can probably find a few people out there who will [reluctantly] agree.

Ate dinner last night at Burgermaster, sort of a farewell between me and the master of burgers, and got a bacon cheeseburger with onion rings. My mouth is still greasy, and I continue to burp oniony goodness even this morning. I'm sure my classmates are going to love that.

I'm working on redoing my blog using CSS (in an effort to lower the quantity of HTML on the site), but I've run into some issues getting the three-column format to work entirely in CSS... I'll have to keep working on this. I'd like to get rid of tables entirely so I can more easily change the look and feel of the site when that time comes. Plus, again, I'm running out of space on the server... I've gotta reduce the size of each page.

11:27a

We're talking now about accessibility - making applications available to disabled users. It's interesting how much infrastructure there is that I was never even aware of before. Definitely something that I need to take advantage of in my endeavors.

To that end, I should probably download this Zoom+ app (just for demo/development purposes): http://www.gipsysoft.com/zoomplus/

12:06p

We just finished talking about how to add help to your applications. Now it's time for lunch - back to the little dicey deli they've got down the block. I had an iffy roast beef sandwich that actually bled a little, so I'm curious what else they've got up their sleeves for me.

1:56p

The deli provided a satisfactory lunch involving a sandwich of various meat-food types and some green lettuce-like substance. I had to remove one of the lettuce formations from the sandwich due to its recalcitrant nature. Those giant hunks of hard... whatever that stuff is... just don't fly with me.

I barely finished eating before we started class again, so I'm just now getting to the lunch discussion. Not much to say beyond that, though. We've gone through application localization and now we're into deployment. Yeah, that's boring. I know. You should be in the class.

3:18p

We're on the last module now - security. It's starting to look a lot like the security talk I heard in the class I was in last week. I'm hoping this will be a review rather than a load of new concepts. I'm beat, and I've got a long drive ahead of me.

During the few breaks we've had I've worked some more on getting the CSS built up for my blog. It's actually a lot more complex than I'd originally thought it was going to be, but I can already see the space savings it will provide.

You might wonder why I care about space. Well, right now I've only got like 10MB on my web host. With that little space, every bit counts. Since GreyMatter (my blog package) statically renders each entry into its own page, if I can reduce each entry's size by a little bit, the sum total of savings is much larger. Each page currently is around 15KB in size. I might be able to cut that in half with CSS, which means I can have twice as many entries before I have to move to a new host. Plus the ease of reformatting that CSS provides. I can revamp the whole site with no issues. Win-win, as they say.

If I do end up moving, I'm going to migrate to Movable Type with a database back end. That way I can get pages rendered on the fly and save a hell of a lot more space. I'll also be able to have a better search/category facility.

But I'm cheap, and I don't want to pay for hosting right now. So we get what we get. Maybe I can get permission at work to put up a publicly accessible blog server. Hmmm...

4:14p

I think I'm just going to go ahead and post this thing. We're almost done, and I'm sure nothing else is going to be interesting prior to going home.

All I know is I have a lot of messing around with programming to do before I really have this stuff down.

Well, that's the end of day 2. This is a little tougher than I'd like, with five days packed into three. Here's the play by play.
Tuesday, June 24

8:43a

I didn't come in so early for class today, figuring I got here an hour early yesterday so I didn't need to do that again. Even so, I was still the first person here. It makes me wonder if people work on "Bellevue time" or something.

After class yesterday I went back to my hotel to drop my books and things off, called Jenn, and headed out to find some dinner. I figured since I had a microwave, I'd maybe find some microwave meals and save a little money.

On the way into downtown Bellevue I scrapped that idea and decided I was craving some Taco Bell. Sometimes it's a good thing to make a run for the border, right?

I drove around for probably 45 minutes getting a feel for the place and looking for Taco Bell.

Taco Bell, to the best of my knowledge, does not exist in Bellevue. Neither, for that matter, does Carl's Jr., my second choice of eatery. I found McDonald's, Burger King, Kentucky Fried Chicken, Jack in the Box, and any number of other mom-and-pop food joints, but neither Taco Bell nor Carl's Jr. were anywhere to be found.

To that end, here's something else interesting: On my trip up here yesterday, I started getting hungry so I made a deal with myself that the next "Food Next Exit" sign I saw that advertised a Carl's Jr., I'd go.

I made it all the way to Bellevue without eating.

Jack in the Box seems to be pretty prominent up here, though. Almost every exit had a Jack.

Anyway, all that adds up to me eating at Taco Del Mar last night, which is a great burrito joint despite the fact that I don't eat fish tacos. I ate there several times (at Taco Del Mar, but not necessarily that particular franchise) last time I was up here. They seem to have quite a number of them here, whereas back home I can only think of one location off the top of my head.

There wasn't much to do last night since I didn't go to that party, so I ended up reading this book I've been pushing myself through for the last couple of months or so. I'm hoping to get it pretty much done by the time my Harry Potter book gets here, but I'm reading pretty slowly so I'm not sure that'll happen.

8:54a

The guy sitting behind me, ever the proud father, is telling this story about how his kid was asking to take his training wheels off his bike and learned last night to ride the bike. He's actually telling the teacher about it, but I can tell...

The teacher doesn't care a damn bit, any more than I do.

I understand the whole "proud father" thing, but the proud father really needs to understand this right now - nobody but him gives two shits about this kid riding his bike. Seriously. I'm gonna have to slap this guy pretty soon.

9:06a

Interesting XML link (for those who are interested in such things): http://kensall.com/big-picture/

It's a chart of all of the different XML specifications, how they relate to each other, and links to the specs themselves.

9:57a

Nobody calls me at work. Ever. Until I get into training, that is.

See, my cell phone rings when my desk phone rings. Normally, that means pretty much never. But when I get into training, people somehow decide that sending me email just isn't enough anymore so they call me.

Again. And again. And again.

Because my voicemail message that says I'm out of the office isn't fucking clear enough.

You know, I hate the phone. You want me to respond to you nicely? Send me an email. Chances are, if you're calling me, it's probably while I'm trying to focus on something. That doesn't make me want to help you - it makes me want to pull your fucking chicken neck through the phone so I can throttle you to death. I will respond to your question quickly and completely in email. Call me? I'll probably end up answering your question later... in email.

10:49a

We weren't going to really get any lab time in this class due to the short time we have here, but the instructor is letting us do some of them that he thinks are important.

There is a total learning curve on this stuff for me.
11:41a

I'm starting to get
this headache because I'm so exhausted. Sleep at this hotel is light at best, and the stuff we're learning here is pretty heavy. Good stuff, but it's stressing me out. I mean, I'm all for "challenge" and all that, but there's only a certain amount of challenge that I can take before I get exhausted. When I learn a new concept, I need to use it and become comfortable with it before I move on to the next concept. The way this class is going, the new ideas come flying past and I'm feeling sort of overwhelmed.

Right now we're talking about database access. Stuff that I learned about in last week's class. I am totally blanking on the stuff because I barely got a chance to look at the stuff from last class and now we're going headlong into this new stuff and I'm sinking.

I think I'll feel better when I get to use this stuff. Also when I have some practice tests to look at and try. The way I work, I always use reference materials when I'm programming. No such luck on the tests.

Plus, I really have to pee.

12:02p

Lunchtime. Plus, restroom break. Rockin'.

12:52p

It's amazing the difference a little food and a couple of Excedrin Migraine tablets can make in your outlook on things. Before lunch, I was feeling pretty bogged down by all this stuff, now I feel like I can take on the world.

I'll have to remember the Excedrin Migraine before I take any of these tests.

My book (The Bear and the Dragon) is finally starting to get somewhere, which is good - it's only taken like 400 pages. Tom Clancy spared no expense on the intro for this one. I'm actually starting to like what's going on. I'm hoping the payoff is worth the time spent with the setup.

2:18p

Hey, we're talking XML web services - the class I took last week. I'm good to go here. Score!

3:28p

Mind... wandering... can't... focus...

3:59p

We just came back from break and while I'm a little refreshed, I can't help but feel pretty wiped out. I mean, we're learning a lot of good stuff here, but the key word there is "LOT" - this is definitely a five-day class packed into three days. By the end of tomorrow, I'm definitely going to be ready to go home. The more I think about it, the more irritated I am that this is the three-day version and not the five-day version.

4:46p

Well, that's that. We ended up talking about how to get things to print properly... and it looks like a real bitch. Lesson: don't print anything. Heh.

It's time to go.

I've found that I have some limited web access from the class, so I'm going to post this first day's worth of info because, frankly, it's just too much if it's combined with anything else. This trip has become quite the debacle.
Monday, June 23

8:50a

This is the first class I've had in Bellevue, and the first week-long business trip I've taken, so two firsts in one week. While that doesn't sound so terrible, I'll have to admit it is a bit of a stressor. Let me tell you about the trip and last night. This is sort of how everything has gone.

I left yesterday (Sunday) at 12:30p (after watching The Devil's Advocate on TNT) to drive up here to Bellevue. It's a three-hour trip, give or take, but I usually allot closer to four hours because of the Seattle and Tacoma traffic (mostly the Tacoma traffic on this particular trip).

The first trouble I ran into was the weather. It was reasonably gray and icky out, but it was only sprinkling rain so I figured everything would be just cool. Instead what I got was sort of like an attention-deficit case playing with a fire hose. It would be totally clear, then blast down rain hard enough that you could barely see anything on the road, then it would be totally clear again. That, combined with the fact that the traffic never stopped moving 80mph, made me pretty uneasy (even when you couldn't see). But I got through it.

Then we had the construction issue. See, the trip is really simple - you travel on I-5 north until you hit I-405 north, then you take that to exit 14 - WA-520 west. No problem, pretty straightforward. Well, as soon as I got on 405, I started seeing these traffic warning signals and things telling me to tune into 530 AM, the traffic notification radio station. So I did, and the warning was that "I-405 is closed at Fourth Street." Okay, well, I don't know where Fourth Street fucking is, so I just kept on trucking and hoped that it was after exit 14.

Fourth Street is exit 12.

Fuck.

You should have seen the traffic. Backed up for miles. Having no choice, I waded through it to get off the exit before 405 was shut off and then I pulled into the nearest parking lot to consult my trusty Bellevue map that I bought the last time I was in town.

My trusty Bellevue map is sitting at home on the God damn bookshelf.

Fuck.

I guess I'd best put that on the list of things I need to remember to take for next trip.

Well, sans map, I figured I'd find some sort of road that paralleled 405 until I could get to 520. I mean, for God's sake, I could see 520 right there! I tooled around and found myself on 108th Ave. NE, which is the street that my hotel is on (according to my MapQuest directions). Luck! I drove through downtown Bellevue on 108th Ave... and then it dead-ended. Huh? But my hotel is on 108th. I'd consult my map, but I don't have it. So... find a way back onto the 405 (after Fourth Street) so I can get on the 520 and follow the directions from there.

I did that - found my way back to 405 (what an ordeal) and got onto 520, took the 108th Ave. exit (as instructed) and found my hotel. Cool. Crisis averted.

Walked into my hotel and find out that somehow my reservation wasn't lost, but was cancelled. Right. Fight the computer user incompetence to get a room anyway and convince them that, yes, the training facility is picking up the bill for the stay. They come back and say that the facility will only cover Monday through Thursday nights (which is not what I was told) but I figured I'd get the facility to call the hotel and hash that out rather than fight with the front desk.

My room is conveniently located right off the lobby. Score one for the good guys.

Unpack all my stuff and get all set up in the room. I've got a small refrigerator and microwave, so I can go back to the Safeway that I found in my travels earlier and get some food.

After that, I decided to go find the training facility so that I can find it easily the next day. It's on 112th Ave. Looking at my driving directions from the hotel to the training facility...

I see that 108th Ave. turns into 112th. 112th runs right into downtown Bellevue. In fact, I was on 112th earlier in my construction runaround. Well, then. Now I know how that all works. Day late and a dollar short, as usual.

The training facility is pretty easy to find, which is good. By the time I'd gotten there, I was tired of searching for things. Back to the hotel.

Next door to the hotel is this old-fashioned drive-in restaurant where they hook the tray to your window and serve you greasy spoon food. The place is called Burgermaster. Any place called Burgermaster is all right by me. I got myself a double-patty cheeseburger and some fries, then walked it back over to the hotel. (No, I'm not eating greasy food in my car.) Tasty.

After that, I basically sacked out and watched some TV. Played a little GameBoy. That's about it. Went to bed at 10:00p after leaving a few voicemails for Jenn (she was out at some Job's Daughters thing). Long car trip plus greasy spoon plus bored equals very, very tired.

11:00p and Jenn decides to call me and say good night. It took me a good hour to get to sleep on the apple crate bed I've got, and just as I'm getting to sleep, she calls. Typical. I fumbled around for the phone and ended up having to call her back because I couldn't get there in time. She still wasn't home and, no, she did not check the voicemail to see what the situation was. I told her good night and attempted to go back to sleep.

I slept like crap. I think I'd get about an hour's worth of sleep between fits of tossing and turning. I didn't bring my pillow, which is one of those senso-foam deals, not the soft standard pillow - put that on the list of things to bring for next time, too. So, no good. I'm totally beat this morning.

Got up at 7:00a, took my shower, realized I forgot my pitstick (put deodorant on the list of stuff to bring next time), called Jenn. Jenn was up late reading the latest Harry Potter chronicle (mine's on its way from the UK now), so she was all groggy. Now you know what it's like, baby! Talked to her for a bit and left to get to the training facility a little before 8:00a. Classes start at 8:30a.

Got to the facility about five minutes to eight. Turns out that classes in Beaverton start at 8:30a, classes in Bellevue start at 9:00a. Glad I'm here an hour early. Acquainted myself with the facility, went searching for drinks, etc. All is well with the world, right?

Oh, except for the fact that I think there's a light coating of pitch on my car from the tree I parked under. Little sticky speckles that wipe off if you spit on them and rub, but annoying nonetheless.

Class started at 9:00a (it's 9:40a right now, but I've been typing and dealing with things this whole time). Since class started, I've discovered several things. First, this is a three day class, not five days. It will be five days next time but this time it's three (apparently it's the last time it's a three day course, too). Second, due to the class length, it means no labs. The labs are the good part in classes like this. Third, I've met the instructor before in some seminar or another I've been to. That's a good thing, though - he's a good guy and totally hilarious. Finally, I found out that the self-test software that we bought with my class package is no good (or not as good) for actual self-testing as far as the MS tests are concerned. You learn stuff, but they don't accurately represent the tests. I guess I need to check out transcender.com.

So a couple of dilemmas have cropped up. First, with no labs, I'm really going to have to learn something without doing it. That's hard for me. Second, I've got to get the whole hotel thing straightened out. Finally, since we've paid for a five day class, I need to get the pricing fixed.

Well, I go home a couple of days early. So I guess that's good.

I'd best pay attention here.

10:17a

Break time because not all of the computers were set up right. We should have VS.NET 2003 installed so we can work along with the instructor but only three of the five do. So... now we wait for that to get updated.

This is quickly moving from minor fiasco to major debacle.

10:27a

I'm at a new computer now, this time with all of the software that should be there. Of course, now I've got to set all of my view preferences again. What a pain in the ass. What happened to roaming profiles?

12:01p

Lunch. We're moving at a breakneck pace in this class, just like we did in the last three-day class. I am going to do a couple of the practice exercises so I can get a feel for this stuff since we don't get to do the labs, then I'll go to the deli place next door and get something to eat.

And I thought training wasn't stressful.

12:42p

I went and got lunch at this little deli that's in the same building as the training facility. It was a toasted chicken cordon bleu sandwich and was passable (that's about all I can say for it). Came back, read a little in my book, and now I'm catching up on the review questions and so forth in preparation for the next module.

I'm still sort of irritated that there is no actual lab time in the class.

1:04p

Something I forgot to mention, one of the few cool things so far on the trip - I'm back within range of C89.5, the best radio station ever. It's so much better to hear it on the radio live than it is to have to listen online. Much richer sound.

2:21p

Break time again. We're totally cruising through this thing, but the instructor is good and calling out "exam watch" topics - stuff we're likely to see questions on. That's nice, and different than how the other classes I've been in work. I hope this guy teaches the next class I'm up here for.

I just went and took a crap and I have to mention that the toilet paper at this facility is way better than the facility in Beaverton. Beaverton's TP was like fine-grain sandpaper. This is more like those fancy soft paper towels you see in expensive restaurants. I'm all over that.

While we're on the restroom topic...

I was sitting there and I noticed that someone had spit on the wall next to the toilet. Why do people do that? Nasty.

Oh, and the toilet is this hyper-industrial power machine but it has a standard home-style flush handle. Why does that matter? Well, you have to hold the handle while the thing is flushing in order for it to work. But when you push down the handle, the ultra-suction starts, scares the shit out of you, and you end up letting go of the handle, which then stops the flushing action from happening. Talk about poor user interface.

3:58p

My friend Aarron, local in Seattle, just called me three times because for some reason he just now got the emails that I sent him like a month ago telling him I'd be in town. Apparently there's some sort of a party going on tonight that doesn't start until 8:00p, but there are some problems with that scenario.

First, I'm not really a party animal per se. Before I go to a party, I definitely want to know more than just one person that will be there so I know there'll be someone to talk to. Second, if it doesn't start until 8:00p, that means it won't really get going until 10:00p. Being unable to sleep in my shitty hotel bed means that I should probably be in bed and attempting to get some sort of rest by then in order to maintain any level of sanity. Finally, and probably most importantly, I don't have my God damn map so if I end up going and getting lost, I'm screwed.

Yeah, I could probably shovel out for yet another map, but with the issues I've already run into on this trip, this whole thing is just tempting fate to screw me. I think I'll pass.

Plus, there's the whole polyamorous/infidelity bent that these parties seem to revolve around that I'm just not really into so much. I mean, were I single, sure - go, meet some funky folks, hang out, and not worry too much about whether you come out of it with a date or something. But I'm not, so I can't really go that route.

4:44p

Our instructor (in a heavy Indian accent): This code here is why I don't do user interface code. I used to have to create my own checkboxes and everything, and I'm good at geometry but when you draw things on the screen they always look bad. This is much easier now, but when you do it manually it still makes you want to go to a counsellor.

4:47p

It's time to go!

I got my car back from the body shop and I'm once again in business. It's nice to have my own car back; that rental was a piece of shit.

Jenn's talking to me while I'm typing this, and let me tell you how hard it is to concentrate on BOTH things at the same time. Smile and nod, Trav, smile and nod. I just told her that it was hard to do this and legitimately listen at the same time and I'm getting the feeling that she's pissed off about it. Can't win for losing, man.

Just so you all know, I'm out of town next week for training - Windows apps in C# - so I probably won't be posting but will hopefully have a play-by-play from the class. And I'll try to make it more exciting than last time.

I got this email from this guy last night (who I will not name, for his own sake) that went like this:

I object to the existence of your site.
Who do you think you are to make fun of paraesthesia? You know what that is? You know what that means?

I am looking for sites to get to know what’s the problem with my girlfriend’s health (she had hit her back and now she has paraesthesia in her legs and arms) just to find the main site: www.paraesthesia.com occupied by something completely irrevelant?!

Okay, there is a very tiny piece of me that sympathizes for the guy. He can't find what he's looking for online.

Then there's this gigantic other piece of me that shoots that very tiny piece of me in the forehead and wants that guy to figure it out and go use Google.

How does he think I felt when I went to illig.com and found a ridiculous avant garde clothing outfit? Probably more pissed off than he was that I chose a reasonably irrelevant name for my site. My site that has absolutely nothing to actually do with the medical condition of paraesthesia.

Why do I hate stupid people so much?

I'm home tonight, posting through the ever-speedy dial-up connection I've got here, freshly out of training. As is the emerging standard, here is the play-by-play for the training and, in fact, the last three days.
Monday, June 18

9:58a

I've been in the class for an hour and a half now and haven't really learned a damn thing.

It's supposed to be "how to write web services with .NET." But the other two students here don't have the prerequisites down and totally aren't familiar with the stuff they're supposed to be, so we're doing review on basics (curriculum from a different class) instead of learning the stuff we're supposed to be.

Oh, bother.

In the meantime, having gone to see The Italian Job again this weekend, this time with my dad, my locksmithing urges have resurfaced so I went to Amazon and put some locksmith books on my wish list. I've always been pretty interested, but I've just never acted on it.

10:27a

We're back from break, and it's time to actually start the class. Hot damn.

I forgot to mention - the receptionist now knows when I'm here because she recognizes my car in the parking lot. I wonder if that means I'm here too much. :)

11:38a

I have to poop, and I don't think we're going to break any time soon. Maybe I should take my PoopKnife^TM?

11:48a

Lunchtime! (Pooptime! I've got a turtle head poking out! :) )

1:01p

Back from lunch, and it's time to get out of the theory portion of the class and into the implementation end of things. I'm much more pleased when we get to the implementation because, even though the theory is important, it's difficult for me to learn when there's nothing to apply the theory to.

I think that was my primary issue with the courses I took getting my CS degree - it was primarily theory, and there really wasn't a lot of implementation.

1:05p

Okay, maybe we're still in review. Right now its "an overview of HTTP," which is a little more... uh... beginner... than I'd hope for. I think the meat of the course really gets going tomorrow. That's okay. Review never hurt anyone. Yet.

1:11p

There should be a service that aggregates wish lists across web sites. For example, I've got wish lists at Amazon and ThinkGeek. If people want a single place to go to see the stuff I want, there's no place like that (is there?). There should be.

1:45p

I think I need to redo my blog so that it's CSS-based instead of table-based. I was looking at my disk usage the other day and it's starting to get out of hand. That's mostly because the blog is all rendered static - each page has the entire header/footer structure static inside it... which makes for loads of HTML pages with loads of HTML. I need to restructure this thing so it's not only smaller footprint-wise but is also more easily changed on a global level.

Maybe I'll work on that next week while I'm sitting in my hotel room in Bellevue after training.

2:18p

I should probably set up an RSS feed for my blog. Eventually.

2:26p

Break time!

2:57p

Okay, we're finally getting to some good stuff. For the techies out there, we're looking at SOAP envelope formatting, which is something I've used indirectly but didn't really understand the internals of.

3:27p

We're having to install Visual Studio .NET 2003 for the lab because the lab machines were only set up with VS.NET 2002 and that won't work for the lab. I've had setup running for like an hour now and I'm only halfway finished. Somehow I don't think I'll be doing the lab today.

3:39p

About 75% done with the VS.NET install...

We've had a great discussion in the meantime on XML schemas and potential upgrade paths for web services. Not a waste of time at all, but crap. VS.NET is a SLOOOOOW INSTALL!

3:51p

VS.NET is done... documentation installing now...

4:00p

Fuck this, I'm starting the lab. Docs can just keep installing.

4:35p

The docs are still going, but my lab is done. I'm packing up and going HOME.

Tuesday, June 17

7:38a

The squeaky wheel gets the oil, OR, maybe people do listen when I've got something to say.

We filled out our first day course evaluations yesterday at the end of the class and I bitched about two things - one, the chairs we were sitting in sucked donkey (totally not adjustable, very uncomfortable); and two, the toilet paper hurts my fragile ass.

I came in today and we have new chairs! Woohoo! Like a gift for my back. Love it.

I haven't tried the toilet paper yet. We'll see.

Jenn and I have newly rediscovered the movie channels that come with our digital cable package. Normally we don't navigate above channel 120 (Noggin, which shows Daria), but in a fit of despair this weekend we went up to the 500 range (we don't get most of the channels between 120 and 500) and remembered that we get Encore and a mystery movie channel and a love story channel. No complaining there, right? Of course, it's not the action channel, but beggars can't be choosers.

So last night we watched The Hard Way and Pretty In Pink.

I hadn't seen The Hard Way before and was pleasantly surprised. But I have always liked Michael J. Fox and James Woods, so I was sort of biased.

It had been a loooong time since I'd seen Pretty In Pink, and while it's a classic 80's John Hughes film, I'd have to say it's not one of my favorites. I'll take The Breakfast Club any day over PIP. Things I found interesting while watching it: Annie Potts, who plays the record store manager as well as Janine from Ghostbusters, answers the phone the same way in both movies - "Whaddaya want?" Annie Potts was supposed to be like 20 years older than the kids in the movie but I never got that impression. Plus, her outfits... some not so good, others totally hot. And, finally, I remembered that Duckie (Jon Cryer) didn't get Molly Ringwald at the end, but I forgot that he ended up with Kristy Swanson... I'd take Kristy Swanson any day of the week over Molly Ringwald. You go, Duckie!

8:30a

Well, I've checked and followed up on email via the various webmail interfaces provided for my email accounts and I'm all set to go. (No, I don't always have access to webmail in training, but I do this time.)

And now it's time to start class. As Ramblin' Rod used to say, "Here we go!"

9:21a

Need... caffeine...

10:44a

Finally got a break to go get something to drink. I'm back on my Vanilla Coke kick, and that's fine with me.

We've been working since 8:30a on the same module - "Consuming XML Web Services." It's interesting and all, but there's a lot to it. It'll be nice to get to the lab and use some of this stuff.

11:23p

Lunch until 12:30p, then it's lab time.

You know, I should figure out if I can parse the web server logs and see if anyone is actually reading my stuff. I think I've got like three regular readers and that counts family members. I wonder if there's something I could do to boost traffic... or maybe people just aren't interested in what I have to say (which wouldn't surprise me in the least).

12:24p

I'm back, and the other guys in my class have already started the lab. I'm not sure how I feel about that. Technically, I've got six minutes before I have to start, but then, they've already started which means I'm going to be the last one done if I don't hurry up - not my favorite position to be in, the slowest animal in the herd.

Maybe I should shut up and get to work.

Or maybe I should play Game Boy for another few minutes.

Decisions, decisions.

1:01p

Either I'm really fucking fast or these guys are slow.

Okay, I'm really fast. Who's kidding who here, right?

I guess I'll check my email and maybe play a little GBA.

1:56p

Sidetracking a little on IIS configuration for the uninitiated (reads: the other two students).

Hey, I found out that we'll be getting the latest and greatest version of the printed material, so that's good. Monday that'll be in... but I'll be in Bellevue, so I'll have to stop and get it after that.

On another note, I need to do some looking around at TweakXP.

2:10p

We're on page 11 of the module that we've been working on since 1:15p. That means an average of five minutes per page. We've got to get to page 60 before the lab starts. That's 49 more pages, at five minutes per page... or 245 minutes, which is four hours, five minutes. Class being over at 4:30p, I don't think we're getting to the lab today unless this guy speeds the hell up.

I mean, we're getting some good under-the-hood style information here, but we sidetrack a bit beyond the scope of the class at times, and in a three-day class, that's not so great.

2:42p

Page 18. 32 minutes, seven pages... still holding that ~5 minutes/page average.

3:07

Page 27. 25 minutes, nine pages. You may think we're picking up speed... but we've been on pae 27 for a good five minutes now. It's become an ADO.NET class, which I think I have scheduled for next month.

I need an aspirin.

3:33p

Page 49. We've picked up the pace a bit. Two hours and 18 minutes for 49 pages is about... a little less than three minutes per page. Better than our five minute average from earlier, and there's a lot of info to cover.

I still need that aspirin, and now I need to pee, too.

4:05p

Page 61, and lab time. That was a looooong section.

4:09p

I just took a leak and it smelled like chicken. I wonder if that means anything.

4:56p

Lab's done, and I'm beat. Time to go home.

Wednesday, June 18

7:36a

I'm in early again, to do a little web surfing and so forth. So far, I've decided that at some point I need some of these Lockergnome photos.

When it rains, it pours. Last night on the way home, I was heading down the slow-as-usual Highway 26 and there was an accident in the middle lane (of three lanes). The traffic was reasonably parting around the accident, and long about the time I got right up next to the whole thing, the lady in front of me stopped suddenly (because apparently the person in front of her stopped for no particular reason) and I didn't stop as suddenly as I'd like to have. So, rear-ender. Great. No injuries, only some minor cosmetic damage on her rear bumper, and my bumper looks pretty good except for some abrasions and a small ripple about an inch long. I was probably only going 10 or 15 mph at the time, so it was totally minor, and I'm glad no one was hurt. But just one more thing to have to deal with that I really didn't want to have to.

Which means that today the insurance adjuster person is going to come out and take a look at the damage while I'm in training so I'll have to duck out for a bit while that's going on.

I guess I should be thankful that it was so minor - and I am - but it is still pretty stressful. I've got a trip to Bellevue on Sunday which means that I'm going to have to put off getting the car fixed for a week. No big deal - you hardly notice the damage - but still a pain. Plus, I am curious now how much my insurance is going to increase. As it is, it's not cheap and I don't have anything prior on my record. Now what's it going to be?

Sigh.

Here's to hoping for the best but expecting the worst.

8:48a

Well, here's some light in the face of darkness.

My favorite auto body shop, Chris and John's, is now part of the Progressive family of repair shops, so they're able to get me in quick - today at 11:00a - and get me out by Friday. Woohoo! That's good stuff.

Of course, I don't have rental car insurance so I'll be paying for that part myself. But for two or three days... I guess I can't complain. Could be worse.

I should probably add rental car insurance to my policy. Assuming I'm not going to be paying through the ass for my insurance now.

I was talking to the admin here and she hit someone last Thursday. I guess I'm not alone on the minor rear-ender thing.

10:00a

Well, it's about time I pack up to head out to Chris and John's. Hopefully I'll be back in time to get something useful from the rest of the course.

1:15p

I got back at around 11:30a and figured these guys would go to lunch so I'd be able to catch up. Instead what happened was they blasted through lunch - I don't even think they did the lab for the section we were working on - and got halfway through the next section by the time I got back. So it's time for their lunch and my catching up.

I am currently the not-so-proud driver of a Chevy Cavalier, or, as I've already come to fondly call it, a Chevy Shitmobile. I mean, it's not that it's particularly bad in any particular area, it's just... it's a rental car. What can I say?

I like cars that are aerodynamic. I like cars that look like they can cut you. I don't want extraneous curves and wasted space, I don't want "organic," I don't want bulky. American cars, by and large, are exactly what I don't want. The interior of this thing was designed by a guy with a fascination with foam rubber. Everything has a layer of foam on it. The dashboard is this huge, hulky mass of resilience. The entire car is rounded everywhere and reminds me of those safety scissors you get when you're in kindergarten. If this car is safety scissors, my car is a stiletto. I like my car. I hate this one.

That said, it's only going to cost me $22/day for the thing, and since it's not covered by insurance, that's about right for my budget. I'll be giving it back on Friday - not a day too soon - so for the money, I guess I'm getting what I'm paying for.

Of course, the admin and one of the instructors were sitting in the lobby of the training center when I drove up and had a nice laugh at my expense. Oh, well.

Time I should catch up on the lab work.

1:32p

It doesn't look like they did the lab for the last module (the lab I would have missed). I can't find any of the lab files installed on my computer, and the instructor was mentioning that the lab that we have in our books (the old version) is WAY different than the lab that they're teaching now (the new version) so... so I don't remember if we were going to do that or not, but I think we weren't.

I guess I'll ask when they all get back from lunch.

In the meantime, I'll get a head start on the next lab, which looks to be a doozy.

1:54p

I guess there was no lab for the last module, so I'm totally caught up with the rest of the class. Cool!

2:02p

Okay, so we're not going to do the labs for the next three modules... yet. We'll do the lectures, then the labs all at the same time. Fine by me; I didn't actually get going on the lab like I thought I was going to.

Well, more lab time for me. Fine. The lab's where I really learn the stuff anyway.

2:50p

Just got a call from Progressive. The minor scratches on my bumper? $634.62 in damage. I'm loving my $250 deductible right about now. It's amazing the cost of car repair. I mean, sure, it's a lot of work, but I watch Discovery Channel's American Chopper, I've seen how this stuff works, and I am pretty sure I saw the extent of my damage... $600 is a bit on the high side, but, well, I guess that's why I pay insurance.


3:02p

I'm realizing that I have to go to work tomorrow and I don't wanna.

3:54p

Looks like MSDN subscribers can get free PocketPCs until the end of the month. Turns out I'm eligible through my work subscription, but then work owns the PPC. Hmmm. I'll have to think about that. How would they know?

3:59p

We're on the last module, which doesn't have a lab and looks quick. Then - extended lab time... but it's already 4:00p. The instructor guy's outta here at 4:30p... I guess we'll see what happens.

4:25p

It's not looking like we're getting to do the last three labs. This was five days of class packed into three days. We definitely could have used more time.

4:30p

That's that! I'm outta here!

While getting ready to go, I was talking with a co-worker here and a conversation not unlike any other conversation I've had ensued:

Mike: I'm outta here. You leaving?
Travis: In a few minutes. I have stuff to finish up.
Mike: It'll be here next week when you come back.
Travis: Yeah, but I'm in training Monday through Wednesday, so it will still be here, but accompanied by more work than when I left.

Pretty cut and dried, right? Well, this got me thinking. Work is a commodity that accumulates faster than you'd like it to, and regardless of the amount you do, there's always more. Work "interest" accumulates faster than any interest on any bank account I can imagine.

Wouldn't it be cool if you could invest in the amount of work that piles up?

So, like, you could go out to NASDAQ and invest in Work Futures, or more likely in a stock "WORK." Then, based on the amount of work that gets done during the day versus the amount of new work you get, your WORK value goes up or down. Unemployed? Sorry, you'd best sell off your shares of WORK because you ain't doin' nothin'.

You could also attribute sort of a "popularity" or "work value" factor to the value of your WORK stock. Kind of like the idea of whuffie, but based on how much people value the work you do.

I figure if I bought 100 shares of WORK at $1 in the morning, I'd be a millionaire by 5:00p.

Then again, I could name you off a few people who'd be dead broke, too. Ah, the economy of WORK.

I've been working pretty hard on the latest revision for our company web site. At the same time, I'm getting some good experience learning about ASP.NET web applications, security, etc., so while it's taking longer than I thought, it's a good (though arduous) experience. Hopefully I've got everything set up now so that it'll be easy to extend and make global changes to.

So I'm sitting at my desk yesterday, exhausted from fighting with several problems with an app I'm working on, and it's lunch time, so I pull out my book... and promptly start to snooze. No big, right? It's lunch, after all.

My boss comes in, sees my snoozage, and says, "You know, you've been working pretty hard and it looks like you could use the afternoon off. Get outta here."

I'm not one to question that, so I packed up and got the hell out.

By the time I got home I had a raring headache and my equilibrium was pretty much shot. I decided it was naptime.

Three hours of nap later, I got up, went shopping/ran errands, and came home.

10:00p, went to bed. Up this morning at 6:15a. I'm feeling great!

So, I thought about this - taking a good long afternoon nap in addition to my regular sleep hours not only refreshes me, but puts me in a good mood. So I think I need to propose a new work schedule.

First, I'm going to be in training roughly every-other-week for the next month or two. Being in training is sort of like a vacation because the stress of work isn't there even though your brain is still working. I love that break, so I think I need to keep that in the proposed schedule.

The new schedule would look like this:

• Every other week - training (or vacation)
• I'm not really fond of Mondays, and Fridays everyone should have off, so only Tuesdays through Thursdays
• Half days on work days so I can get my nap in

I think that's pretty good. I could probably work that schedule without complaint. Or, well, with less complaint.

You know how some people say, "If I win the lottery, I'm still going to come to work?" Fuck that. If I win the lottery, I'm fucking quitting. I need a prolonged state of vacation.

People seem to be pretty wowed and disgusted at the whole poop knife thing. But if it's as common as all that, then maybe there's a market for them. I mean, you go to the local supermarket, hit the housewares section, and pick yourself up a PoopKnife^TM or three. Give them as gifts! Be the hit of the next bridal shower you go to.

Speaking of showers...

Jenn went to a baby shower this weekend, and since she's broke, guess who got to buy the gift.

This got me to thinking, and what I've arrived at is this:

Anything called a shower that doesn't involve bathing is a scam.

I mean, think about it. Starting with marriage, you've got your bridal shower, where you get the bride a gift. Then you've got the wedding proper, where you get... another gift. After that you've got your housewarming, where it requires the purchase of more gifts, then the baby shower (sometimes both pre-and-post-birth) - more gifts - and finally the baby gets born and you're supposed to get more goddamn gifts.

Look at that! And I'm sure I'm missing some sort of fucking shower of some nature in there, but if you tally it up, that's a few more gift-requiring opportunities than is really necessary.

I think maybe I should have a shower the next time I buy any home electronics. Like have a Playstation 3 shower (when that comes out). Then people can come over and bring me gifts that I can use with my Playstation 3. And it won't even have to be my birthday! I almost wish I'd thought of this earlier, I'd have had a Game Boy Advance shower, and maybe a Brand New DVD Player shower, too.

Here's how it works in Travis World: You get married, you get a gift. You have a baby, maybe you get a gift. It's your birthday? Here's a gift. Christmas? Gift-o-rama. But that's pretty much it. I'm all over the Spirit of Giving, and sure, sometimes there will be a fun little gift for no reason. But these planned scam attempts at gift retrieval known as "showers" are not on the "accepted reasons for getting gifts" list.

Anyone else having a shower is just getting a PoopKnife^TM.

I had planned a nice evening at home last night but instead got sucked into going to Denny's to eat with Jenn and her Job's Daughters group. I can't say it was a complete loss, though. I'm never one to scorn cheese fries.

Plus, Brittany, the Laura San Giacomo look-alike, was there, which was cool 'cuz she's hot. Not that anything's going on there, but she's a good looking girl and that never hurts. So there's that.

While we were sitting there I realized that all of my good party stories are not family-appropriate. That is, I could tell them, but they're sort of anti-climactic and unfunny if I don't throw a "shit" or a "fuck" in there. Drew Carey's mentioned a similar issue regarding jokes in his book. Which meant I was unnaturally quiet and way less entertaining than normal. Maybe I should learn some clean jokes. (Except that they're usually not funny.)

Yesterday was Jenn's last day of working for free at the VA Hospital, which means I got to sleep in until 6:15a this morning. That extra half hour does make a difference, believe it or not.

Oh, and I also got my copy of the Buffy Season 4 DVD set from Amazon, but the case was sort of munched due to poor packaging and the second disc was "floating" (not attached to the spindle in the case, just sliding around), which resulted in some minor abrasions on the surface. I downloaded a utility to verify it can still be read properly, and it seems to check out okay, so I guess I'll call it good. I'm really not ready to watch six hours of TV just to check.

Looks like the poop knife thing isn't uncommon. That's messed up. I wonder why people think that's necessary.

I just got an email from my mom regarding a story my sister was telling her. This is just too much.

A little background: My sister is currently rooming with a friend of hers, a girl with Down Syndrome, and a girl who is taking care of the girl with Down Syndrome (that's a total of four girls). Part of the deal my sister and her friend get is that they take part in helping out with the Down Syndrome girl.

An example of one of the things they've dealt with: The girl with Down Syndrome has four ice cube trays in the freezer, laid out side-by-side. My sister's friend moved them to make room for food in the freezer, and Down Syndrome girl went berzerk because you can't stack the ice trays. That problem has since been solved.

Now I get word there's a new problem to deal with.

My sister's friend went into the bathroom and on the back of the toilet sits a basket. In the basket she noticed there was a table knife. She took the knife out of the basket and put it in the dishwasher, thinking nothing of it. Nobody really knew why it was there or said anything about it. Regardless, the knife went to the dishwasher. (The dishwasher wasn't full, though, so it wasn't run.)

Then a while later (a day or two?), the Down Syndrome girl comes out and asks, "Where is my POOP KNIFE?"

Yeah. You're thinking the same thing right about now that I was when I heard this story.

Apparently, the Down Syndrome girl cuts her poop before she flushes so it will go down easier. She's been doing this forever, and normally she puts the knife in the dishwasher but this time she forgot.

Oh. My. God.

My sister and her friend have been spreading butter on their toast with a poop knife for a couple of months now.

I'm taking my own silverware if I ever visit.

Jenn and I got off our collective lazy ass last night and went to an open house at a technical contracting firm that I work with.

After quite the fight with traffic, we kicked and scratched our way into a parking spot downtown and moved to the party.

Got there and saw my friends Kristen and Sharon (who work at the firm) and chowed down on the fairly decent spread of food.

Sharon had her s/o there who had written "Shaft!" on his name tag. I laughed about that and popped out a "Shut yo mouth!" at him, but now that I look back on the whole situation, I never really got the guy's name. I guess I'll just call him Shaft from now on.

Kristen's mom and sister were also at this shindig. Her sister was generally quiet, but her mom is quite the character. I don't think I can count on all my protruding appendages the number of times she mentioned that Kristen needs a boyfriend. Ah, parents. Ever the source of embarrassment.

Anyway, we hung out there for a while talking to Kristen, Sharon, and Shaft, then packed up and went home.

That whole story admittedly sounds pretty lame, but you have to understand - I wasn't at home, I was out socializing, so you have to give me points for that.

Actually I'm not too bad with the social thing, but it's difficult for me to mix business and pleasure. It may be a "party at work," but I'm still sort of thinking, "Hey, I'm at work" rather than, "Paaaaaartaaaaay!" Maybe that's just me. I think if Jenn, Sharon, Shaft, Kristen, and myself were in some other [more socially-oriented] setting, I might think less of the work aspect of things. After all, we were in their office.

I got the impression while talking with them all that "their group" (i.e., everyone not Jenn or myself) was into the social/clubbing sort of scene. I was sort of into that "social thing" for a while, but I think I may just be getting bitter in my old age or something. Large quantities of people I don't know + cigarette smoke clouds + expensive cover charge = irritated Travis. I suppose if my group of friends did that stuff I'd be into it, too, just to hang out with them. Maybe. Either way, interesting to see how the "other side" lives sometimes.

Jenn's out at her niece's pre-school (or is it kindergarten?) graduation tonight so I'm popping my new Mr. Bean collection in the DVD player and kicking back. Jenn doesn't like Mr. Bean, so... more fun for me.

Yeah, that's a lame Friday night. But it's cheap, which fits my budget, and it's stress-free, which is even better. Oh, yeah.

After discussing my thoughts on The Matrix Reloaded at length with friends/coworkers of mine yesterday, I figured I should probably post them up here so folks could see what the goings-on were all about.

For those living in a cave or sans pop culture influence, The Matrix Reloaded is the highly anticipated sequel to the ever popular 1999 film, The Matrix. To understand what The Matrix Reloaded is about, you really need to have seen The Matrix. But I understand that not everyone has, so let me give you the quick and dirty on The Matrix:

Keanu Reeves plays a computer geek, Neo, who starts waxing philosophic and questioning the concept of reality. Suddenly weird things start to happen - he gets odd messages mysteriously appearing on his monitor, he gets arrested by the police... and eventually you see that he gets taken in by some apparent superbeings who are somehow notorious in the computer hacker world named Trinity (played by Carrie-Anne Moss) and Morpheus (played by Laurence Fishburne).

As it turns out, Neo's questioning was correct - the world we live in is actually a computer simulation called "The Matrix;" the real world is a place where machines have taken over and use humans as a power source (the heat, right?). Morpheus and Trinity want to free all the humans from The Matrix and take the world back from the machines. There's a city of people (Zion) who have already been freed and are working on this effort as well.

Not only that, but Neo is "The Chosen One" and has the ability to manipulate the physical laws of The Matrix to suit his own needs. The other freed individuals can do some tremendous stuff this way (which is why they appear superhuman), but Neo's a whole other story.

Okay, so while these characters are trying to free other humans, The Matrix itself has got these "defense mechanisms" - sort of like anti-virus software - called "agents" (picture the men in black that you see on X-Files or some such) that hunt down and kill freed humans running around in The Matrix. Hugo Weaving ("Agent Smith") has a final showdown with Neo and Neo gains control of his newfound power at the last moment, defeating Agent Smith and realizing that he is the one who's going to have to free all the humans.

There's a lot more in the way of plot details and whatnot, but that's the long and the short of it. I highly recommend seeing it if you haven't.

Now, that's the plot of the original Matrix, but what made it so spectacular?

First, the cinematography was brilliance. The whole thing was filmed like a comic book - very dramatic lighting, color filtering, and camera angles. You could hold storyboards up next to the finished product and every scene matches up perfectly. Put the storyboards in a book and you've got yourself a graphic novel.

Second, the philosophy. The whole thing was a discussion about the concept of reality - which is a whole other book (actually, a bunch of books). What makes something real? Is it something you hear, see, or feel? But that's just electrical brain impulses - is that what real is? It also touched on a bit of religion with the Neo thing - they imply that there was "another man" who could shape The Matrix the way he saw fit. Jesus maybe? They never say. Regardless, they discussed the whole thing without getting too "preachy" or annoying with it. Good stuff.

So, now that we've talked about the first Matrix, how was Reloaded?

I wish I could say it was as good as the first one, but it really wasn't. The story continues in this one with Neo, Morpheus, and Trinity returning to Zion (which is good, since we haven't really seen that aspect of things yet) to find out that the machines are tunneling toward the underground city and will be there to destroy the human resistance very soon. It's Neo's job to figure out how to stop it. Basically.

I won't go too much into the whole plot because frankly, I didn't see much of one there. It was a light, fluffy, sci-fi/action film with two utterly superfluous love stories attached to it. Neo, Morpheus, and Trinity have to figure out how to stop the machines from destroying the humans. Obstacles get in the way. Panic ensues. Stuff happens. Roll credits.

Oh, and of course, this is a cliffhanger because the next Matrix film is coming in November.

So what did they do right, and where did they go wrong?

First, what they did right:

Continuing in the vein of philosophy, this movie was a discussion about free will versus destiny. Do we actually make our own choices, or does it only seem that way? If there's a such thing as destiny, then it doesn't matter what "choices" we make because in the end, everything's already preordained to happen. But if it's all destiny, then what about our own free will? That was the aim of this one, and I think they did a good job of getting that together again without being too preachy about it.

They also throw in a bit of feeling on the human "tribal mind." People all getting together for a common purpose, feeling raw emotion together and harnessing that power. That was good.

But that's about it. The rest was all wrong:

They didn't maintain the same cinematography. The first Matrix was comic-book-on-film, and that was good. This one was a standard action movie. The innovation of the dramatic camera angles and whatnot just didn't exist in this one.

The love stories were ridiculous. One (Neo and Trinity, established in the first film) was necessary but seemed a little more... animal... than it needed to be. The other, which I won't go into, didn't even really have a place in the story. If you had left it out, it wouldn't have made a difference to the plot.

That's actually how a lot of the characters were - if you left them out, it wouldn't make a difference to the plot. Sort of like they were "placeholders" or something. There were some very interesting characters, but they just didn't play any role. For example, the Monica Bellucci character - beautiful lady, but really didn't serve any purpose. There was a German guy, Monica Bellucci's husband, who was so extraneous that not only do I not remember his name, but the only thing I can classify him as is "an obstacle." That's all he was - something like a wall, just standing in the way. In the way of Neo... and in the way of the plot.

Finally, the fight choreography. All the fights in the first movie seemed fast and furious, yet still controlled. In this one... all the fights felt like they were in slow motion. There was no challenge for any character in any fight because everyone seemed to anticipate everyone else's moves, making it less like a fight and more like a dance. Now, I thought about the fact that the moral of this movie was free will versus destiny and that the fights, with everyone anticipating the - dare I say it - destined move of their opponents, was just a way to further that idea... but then, I may be giving them too much credit, and the fights may just have been kind of bad.

All in all, I didn't think it was as bad as people have told me it was. I'd heard enough bad reviews that my hopes had been lowered sufficiently to enjoy it for what it was. I do hope they pick it up for the third movie in the fall. What I am disappointed about is something that my friend Tim at work brought up when I was talking with him about this - that this is now a great idea that's been done, and it was wasted on a poor execution. Very unfortunate.

I was sitting, bored, waiting to get into The Italian Job, when I thought of some names for bands that I haven't heard yet (but anticipate hearing about soon, I'm sure):

• Metalfinger
• Swagger
• Big Boy Pants
• Drama Queen
• Slackinator

Plus, I've always thought that if I were to have a band, it would probably be called "The Industrial Consortium." Any other good band names out there?

I had a long weekend - training Wednesday and Thursday, then I had Friday off because I worked Monday. It was nice and restful, and I wish every week (and weekend) could be as nice and stress-free as all that.

Thursday night Jenn and I went to see The Italian Job on free sneak preview. It was much better than I expected it to be - I expected a "pretty good" action movie, but I got a really cool action movie - so that was a big plus. Maybe if I get motivated I'll write up a review on it.

Friday I went by myself to see The Matrix Reloaded because Jenn wasn't interested in it and, frankly, I had nothing else to do. I had heard from several friends that this one wasn't very good, especially considering the success of the original, and that I would be disappointed.

I didn't have particularly high hopes going in anyway, and I think my hopes were lowered by my friends' comments, so when I did end up seeing it, I was reasonably satisfied. I can see where folks would be disappointed - it was pretty "fluffy" as far as plot and whatnot, but I think in the telling of the story, everything said was necessary. I also think that they might be erring a bit on the philosophical side of things, now trying to involve the concepts of free will and destiny, whereas the first lingered primarily on the general concept of reality and what makes something real.

Anyway, again, if I get to it, I'll review it.

Also on Friday I went to Blockbuster and rented Cube 2: Hypercube and National Security. Cube 2 (the sequel to the B-movie - you guessed it - Cube) was actually pretty good considering the whole thing essentially takes place in a single room. I recommend seeing the first one first, though, as the second one kind of builds on the ideas that the first one puts forth. National Security... I thought would be funnier. Instead it was a lot of Martin Lawrence comedic complaints about racism and I thought some of the jokes just got a little old and redundant. It was okay, but I'm glad I didn't see it in the theater.

Then Friday night Jenn and I went to a "Casino Night" that her Job's Daughters group was putting on. It was disorganized as all hell - we were still cutting out the fake money when people started showing up - but it was pretty fun. I ended up being a dealer at a blackjack table for most of the evening.

Now, keep in mind that the crowd attending the event was in the 12 to 20 year old range. There were a few parents, but by-and-large, we've got the teenage crowd, average age of 16, and the dress code was casual. Let me further add that, frankly, I don't remember girls looking like that when I was in high school. So I have to say that it didn't hurt that most of the time I was at this blackjack table dealing there was this 16-year-old girl with altogether too much cleavage pouring out of her shirt sitting across from me, leaning over her cards. (Before you psychos sic the police on me, it's not like anything was happening - it's just that the view really wasn't killing me or anything.)

Oh, and Jenn noticed it, too, and said something about it to me before I said anything. So it wasn't just me.

Saturday was an easy day. Jenn was at another Job's Daughters event, so my dad came over and we rented the movie Below to watch and both of us enjoyed it thoroughly.

That evening, still before Jenn got home (she was gone all day!) my dad called and took me and my brother-in-law out to see X-Men 2. I have to say that the sequel here was vastly better than the first. The first X-Men left me kind of... "eh." This second one made me want to see it again. Good stuff, and I'm glad I saw it.

Sunday I didn't really do anything. Sat on my ass and watched DVDs all day long, worked on my beaded hat project, and generally just chilled out. Very relaxing.

All in all, the whole time was very stress-free and I wish I could continue that theme throughout the rest of my days but, alas, I must work so I can pay the bills. Perhaps retirement will offer me the peace I so desperately desire, but I'm thinking that it may just be a different type of stress entirely.

I'll post about the weekend shortly, but I thought I'd get the entries from my class last Wednesday and Thursday posted up here since people might be interested.

This is, of course, the typical way-too-long play-by-play entry, so if you want the whole skinny...
Wednesday, May 28

8:53a

Okay... so I'm in course "MS-2071B: Querying Microsoft SQL Server 2000 With Transact-SQL." So far, so good. Instructor's nice. This being a smaller, two-day course, I'm expecting a fairly easy time. Here we go...

9:02a

I'm realizing I didn't brush my teeth this morning. Icky. On top of that, I'm wearing my last pair of clean underwear. I'll have to go digging in the clean laundry bin to see if I've got some that are floating in there.

10:10a

Just got back from my first break. Standing up, I realized these chairs suck donkey balls. They're TOTALLY not adjustable - not height, not tilt... nothing. My back's starting to kill me because they were obviously made for a midget office. I think the chairs in Barbie's Dream House are bigger than this.

10:41a

The first lab was... how to read the online help file. A lab on RTFM. That's too funny.

11:01a

Not being at work and drinking altogether too much Vanilla Coke so far today has put me in a good mood. One of my rarer moments to be sure, but not entirely disagreeable. Maybe I should try out this good mood thing more often. If only there weren't so many people out there to piss me off...

11:38a

Time for lunch. So far this hasn't been too much of a stretch for me, but I have learned a couple of new tricks for editing and re-using SQL scripts. So - easy, but still worthwhile. I like that.

12:47p

Back from lunch... but the class is empty. Huh. Good thing I've got my book.

Went to Fred Meyer for some deli food for lunch. Cheap and tasty. Love it. While I was there I found the legs that go to these little modular cabinet things I bought the other day (on sale, of course).

Talked for a little while to the admin and one of the instructors, just hanging out. That's cool. I like them both, and it doesn't hurt that the admin's a little hottie.

1:09p

Starting class again. Woohoo!

1:33p

My morning buzz is wearing off. I've hit that post-lunch-naptime phase of my day. Eyes... closing... losing... consciousness...

1:42p

Found this salary survey from Visual Studio Magazine (sitting in the lunch room) that confirms that I'm getting underpaid. Not that I didn't already know that, but it's nice to see the statistics confirm it.

2:01p

Lab time!

2:31p

Lab's done. Still pretty well cruising through this class, but it is definitely serving to reinforce existing knowledge and fill in the gaps to round the whole thing out. Very cool.

2:57p

...and back to work...

My afternoon drag is still here. Not sure what to do about it. Maybe not getting up so damn early.

4:07p

Finished another lab. This one was really good and talked about a LOAD of stuff I didn't know. Stuff like aggregate functions (getting totals and averages of information) and how to interpret the results and get exactly the results you're looking for. SQL Server can do a lot of the computational work for you so you don't have to write a program to do it later. Lots of things that are really helpful.

I guess the instructor's gung-ho, since we're at the end of a chapter and he's wanting to start the next one already. We'll end up in the middle of a chapter, which isn't the greatest, but I suppose to keep on schedule one does what one must do.

I've moved from Vanilla Coke to Sprite because the Coke was making me just crave more Coke... but the Sprite is giving me heartburn, so I guess I can't win for losing on this drink thing.

4:36p

Joining a table to ITSELF?! My head hurts...

4:38p

And that's that. Time to go home!

Thursday, May 29

9:10a

Well, I finished the lab that we didn't do yesterday and I'm ready for action. While waiting for the other guy in the class to finish, I'll fill you in on last night.

Got home about my usual time because we stayed pretty late in the class (we were supposed to be out by 4:30p and usually you get out by around 4:00p, but not this time). Jenn wanted to go to the mall to get her nails done (little pleasures - besides, they were looking pretty bad), so I went to the mall, too, just to get out of the house.

While she was in the salon, I went to almost every cool shop in the mall. That's not to say she took a long time; it was more a case of nothing really interesting me. I almost felt guilty going to the mall and not seeing anything I wanted, but I don't know if that was a subconscious budgetary restriction or if nothing really did catch my attention.

I did notice that American Eagle Outfitters, Old Navy, Abercrombie & Fitch, and, well, pretty much every other "trendy" clothing store all sell approximately the same thing. "Screen print tees" and unkempt looking pants and drawstring-oriented shit... It makes me wonder where fashion ever went. Even The Gap, which is more of a Nazi uniform sales store than a clothing shop, is starting to sell this "shabby chic" shit. And here I thought I could count on good old Gap to remain the cookie cutter style it is known for. So much for that.

Watched the new Fame show on TV and thought the competition was way stiffer than for American Idol. The singers were generally better and these folks could dance. It got kind of irritating when they repeated the phrase "triple-threat" over and over and over. I think that's their big slogan or trademark or something. Don't be surprised if you see triple-threat^TM somewhere in the media soon.

This probably crosses the TMI boundary but tough noogies:

Yesterday I mentioned I was wearing my last pair of clean underwear. Well, normally I wear lo-rise briefs because they just seem to fit better (and I can't stand that "going Commando" feeling that boxers provide - there's no control there and I just can't abide by it). The last pair of underwear in my drawer was a full-rise brief that I had bought because the package was mismarked. Anyway, I always wear them last since they don't fit as well as my other underwear.

So I'm standing in my underwear, brushing my teeth before going to bed, and I'm looking at myself in the mirror realizing that I look like a two-year-old on a Huggies commercial for "big boy pants." It was really pathetic. Not to mention that my other briefs are reasonably form fitting - you can see that I do have an ass, and the, uh, unit up front is doing okay, too. These briefs... no ass, baggy everything, and the front looked like I had taken a marble and dropped it into a hanky. Really fucking lame. Well, just one more reason not to wear those sons-of-bitches. I should probably pitch them out so I don't catch myself in them again.

Luckily there was clean underwear in the clean laundry bin so I pulled some out and wore those today. Everything down under is back to normal. Crisis averted.

9:35a

Well, we HAD started class again, but then the video projector went all wonky so we're working on that now.

Oh, here we go. We're going to skip the projector and use paper. Whatever.

10:00a

Break and lab time!

10:54a

Well, I'm officially slightly behind. The lab just now on subqueries is a tough one. I even had to cheat a bit and look at the answers because I got slightly stumped - I got the right answer for the question, but I got the answer a different way than they did.

It's a good thing there's more than one way to do things. I'm screwed otherwise.

11:51a

Lunch! Plus, I have to poop, so good times.

12:45p

Back from lunch, and I think we have about 15 minutes until we resume. I'm hoping to get out of here by 3:00p or so because I have a haircut scheduled at 6:00p that I can go and get done early, then I can be ready for The Italian Job at 7:00p (I'll need to be to the theater an hour early or thereabouts because I really want into this one.)

1:03p

Still haven't started class. I'm reeeeeeeeeeaaaaadddyyyyyyyyy.....

1:15p

Class is underway. Apparently we're going to do the next (last) two modules back to back, then the last is labs. Cool. It's looking like I'll get out of here early, which matches my evil plans perfectly. It's all coming together.

1:41p

Last module...

2:37p

I'm outta here! Time for my haircut!