What If? People Pellets

personal comments edit

Okay, so everyone knows about owl pellets, right? Owls can’t digest all the stuff from their prey (bones, hair, etc.) and since they eat their prey whole, that stuff has to go somewhere - enter owl pellets.

So I thought about this - what if there were people pellets? Take that a step further, what if people excreted/coughed-up/disgorged pellets rather than pooping? Think about how much easier that is. You’d still probably have to use the restroom for liquid waste, but for solid waste, you could just chuck your pellet into the trash can.

I suppose there’d be two possibilities for the pellet - either it gets coughed up (like owls) or it comes out the other end. If you cough it up, just spit it out… but if you poop it out, you’d have to “go digging” to get it, then throw it out. Either way, assuming the pellets are clean (like owl pellets), loads of sanitary issues would be solved. Gotta take a dump? Do it. Then just throw your pellet out.

There’d be pellet disposal containers in bathrooms. Under desks. In your living room. Built into your favorite easy chair.

I told Jenn about this, and she was like, “Wouldn’t people be disgusted by other peoples’ pellets?” I don’t think so. You have to consider, if there were such thing as people pellets, that’s how it always would have been. People wouldn’t know any better - that’d be just how it is.

I think that’d be kind of cool. No more messy wiping. No more stinky bathroom. Pellet. Done.